Don’t touch my hair

Black women talking about what happens when strangers touch their hair.

Aba Eghan was at a restaurant in Calgary with her friend as an older white woman approached her and began touching her hair.

“She didn’t respect my personal boundaries. Everyone just sat around and said ‘Oh yeah her hair is interesting,’” she said.

It happened again at work.

She was in the break room when a co worker came from behind and begun touching her hair.

“I was scared.”

“It was a violation of my personal space,” she said.

Eghan says these are two of many instances where strangers touched her hair. She said growing up she was quiet about it but now that she’s older she speaks up, which she says, upsets them.

“It doesn’t matter to me because they should have manners and if they don’t I let them know. If they feel bad about it it’s not my responsibility,” she said.

Black women have to face the struggle of faking smiles and laughter to fight the discomfort they feel as strangers run their fingers through their hair without their permission.

Eghan isn’t alone.

Rochelle Lamptey had dreadlocks done on her hair. While walking to class at her university in Connecticut, a couple of girls called her hair pretty.

“I took it as a compliment and said ‘thank you,’” she said.

These girls began to get closer to her and started touching her hair.

“I think I was just in shock. I didn’t know how to react and I didn’t want to seem rude,” she said.

It happened again when she had an Afro out. She visited a friend and her friend’s mother reached out to touch her hair right after complimenting it.

“She didn’t even ask, she just started touching my hair,” she said.

In the moment her thoughts were,

“Don’t touch my hair, I don’t know where your hands have been.”

Lamptey said she gets why people would be fascinated by what Black women can do with their hair.

“I get the curiosity, but they break boundaries forgetting we’re also people and we need personal space,” she said. “You’re not entitled to touch anything on my body.”

            There’s a thin line between curiosity and disrespect and everyday black women are disrespected because of the hair they wear says Eghan and Lamptey. It’s okay to be curious but seeking consent is important.

Black women spend hours trying to make their hair perfect only to have it ruined by a random person.

The lesson is to be respectful and not touch anyone’s hair without consent says Eghan and Lamptey.